Natalie Portman is a lovely girl. I don’t care for her dress in this photo, but all around she seems intelligent and talented, not to mention attractive. However, this chick has BAD taste in men IMO. I mean, she went from this (musician Devendra Banhart):

To this…

WHY? Both of these men are repulsive. I don’t care how artsy-fartsy they are. And by the way, what is so bad about Robin Wright Penn? Why does Sean feel the need to cheat? And what does Natalie think? Is she going to become stepmommy to Dylan and Hopper? Yeah, right.

From the looks of things, Robin Wright-Penn should divorce Sean, take care of herself and find a man that appreciates and loves her…she is talented and pretty. So is Natalie, but wow does her taste in men suck.

(According to the May 18 Star Magazine, Sean and Natalie are still together. Gross.)

Methinks Halle Berry is pregnant again…I can’t confirm that of course but just look at the midsection.

Her daughter with Gabriel Aubry is absolutely adorable.

(I don’t care for the name, Nahla Ariela…the first name sounds like something that reminds me of nasal for some reason and Ariela reminds me of breast anatomy.)

Actually, Gabriel Aubry is absolutely adorable also. If he were my man I’d probably just stare at him in awe all day. And Halle Berry is of course a very beautiful woman.

Beautiful, rich, has a young gorgeous man…don’t get so mad at the paps, Halle, without them you may not be so famous and rich. Plus stress and anger is bad for you.

I admit it, I’m a tabloid addict. I read several tabloids per week, but mostly in my spare time. Needless to say, I have a lot of spare time on my hands.

Like when I’m at the doctor’s office. They never have good magazines in the waiting room. Like Ladies Home Journal, who wants to read that? Or men’s magazines, about cars, or *gasp* hunting. So today I decided to take the magazines into my own hands and brought a tabloid with me. I forgot which one it was. Anyway, it made for a much more interesting wait.

Today I read about Angelina’s supposed pregancy. I’ll believe it when I actually see the baby bump. Even then I might not be sure, because it might be photoshopped.

But I’m tired of Brangelina – yet I read each article about them with utter obsession, mulling over each detail. Why? Why oh why do I continue to torment myself like this? Brangelina has grown into this great big monster – it’s like a huge wart on my butt, and I can’t get it off!

What I want is more Britney – even though everyone else is sick of her. I can’t get enough. I love the trainwrecks. Today I was reading about the “hooking up” between Britney and Kevin on her Circus tour, and how she wants Kevin to break up with his girlfriend. (I forgot her name, but I guess it isn’t important.)

Another thing I’m getting sick of is this breakup between Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson. Didn’t this happen over a month ago? Guys, you need some new material!

But like I said, I do like the trainwrecks, like Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears. I don’t like the trainwrecks turned do-gooders like Angelina. Angelina was much cooler when she was openly wierd. When she was with Billy Bob (even though he’s old and gross) and did blood sports. Now she’s still wierd, but she’s trying to act normal, whatever that is for a celebrity, and being a snob. I really don’t like her anymore. She always has this snooty expression in her photographs. And I’m really getting sick of her obsession with kids. I wonder if she is collecting them like dolls.

I’m done with Angelina. Keep feeding me the trainwrecks, because I love the chaos! What can I say, I’m an addict!

In the past month, Brangelina has broken up, become pregnant, and reunited! Not to mention Angelina has been filming the movie Salt, and Brad’s been travelling all over the world! What a busy couple!

What really happened is that nothing has changed. Angie is still acting, Brad is travelling the world for various reasons- could have to do with their nonprofit organization, The Jolie-Pitt Foundation, or perhaps he had business to attend to in Germany. Maybe there were events, or meetings, who knows?

They probably had some fights – and made up – and fought – and made up; like so many couples do.

I don’t believe any of these stories at this point. There’s no concrete evidence that anything has happened. Anonymous sources are quoted, giving the articles little credibility. And I doubt that Angelina would work on a film, performing her own stunts while pregnant.

I’ll keep reading, but I’m skeptical.

People has the exclusive on Farrah Fawcett’s condition. I just read the interview with Ryan O’Neal and it is heartbreaking. My beloved grandmother died a week ago today, from a long illness, at home on her deathbed. Only she was about 20 years older than Farrah.

I was unaware that Farrah’s cancer had progressed to this stage, I heard it spread but I had not heard how poorly she was actually doing. 

Although I am not a big O’Neal fan (Ryan or Redmond) and prefer just not to mention their criminal deeds in this post, Ryan sounds a lot like my grandfather who also wished to go with his true love to the beyond and feels lost and out of place without his partner of so many years, despite the bad times.

Prayers for Farrah that when she does leave this cruel world she is able to do so painlessly and peacefully. Prayers for those she leaves behind who will grieve. If you don’t pray, send good vibes or something.

I know it sounds like I’m throwing dirt on her before she’s dead but it does not sound like recovery is possible at this point (although spontaneous miracle remissions have happened to a select few.)

I quite enjoyed the May 4th edition of In Touch Weekly, headlining “Brad Moves Out”.

Though, I’m not quite sure I believe that story. Another magazine released a story that week claiming that Angelina Jolie is pregnant. If she’s pregnant, then Brangelina probably isn’t splitting up. However, it’s possible. Anything is possible with those two.

What really intrigued me this time was the smaller story inside about Gavin Rossdale and a British drag-queen rock star named “Marilyn”. Marilyn told In Touch that he and Rossdale were in a gay relationship lasting five years and that “he was the love of my life.” I must say, I would not have believed this had it not been for the photos of the two of them together, looking very “close”.

As I was reading the article, I marvelled over how much Gavin’s wife Gwen Stefani resembles this Marilyn character. I always did think Gwen looked like a drag queen, I thought. Then I turned the page and found that In Touch thinks the same! There was an insert titled “They have the same look!” which showed pictures of the two in similar outfits and poses. I guess now Gavin can satisfy his drag queen fantasies while playing it straight.

And of course, my favorite story in this issue was the Octomom story: “Octomom’s Lies Exposed”. This article focused mainly on Octomom’s stripper days, which were, apparently, DAYS with an “S” and not DAY. Three sources gave accounts of Nadya stripping over a period of time (though they didn’t say how long), and these sources provided their names and photos to the magazine, except for one, “Sage”, preferred not to give her real name, but she did offer a photo of herself. In the article was a picture of a contract that Nadya Suleman signed for private party dances. So we can conclude that Suleman lied about dancing “only for a day”, as well as other things. Oh, and her stripper name was Angelina. Guess she lied about not trying to look like Angelina too. Go figure.

I heard Dumb and Douche were planning on having some kind of fake wedding again but this time in a church.

People  reported this vomit-inducing news…so I am inclined to believe it. If it turns out these two had another FAKE wedding and are not really married then People is dead to me.

Before gagging on my Ramen noodles, I had an epiphany. These two might be like warts on the ass of the world but they are absolutely perfect for each other. So I guess true love really does prevail.

Thank you, People, for clearing up some things about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. If People says it, I believe it. Us Weekly is second on my list of believable tabloids…moving on…

Angelina pregnant — false, according to People and when they noted that the twins don’t turn 1 until July it made sense that she isn’t. There are various other debunked Brangelina myths in the article worth reading.

Side note: This week’s In Touch has my dream-husband Brad Pitt on the cover looking angry and intense. However he is wearing a pink crocheted necklace of some type? Perhaps a gift from one of his daughters? That is so cute.  Now this I can believe…that Brangelina had a blow out around Easter and he spent time away from home to cool off.

As far as whether or not Angelina is pregnant I am not speculating. If there is a formal announcement (on People, of course) then I will believe she is.

Upon arriving at my favorite blog of all time, Dlisted, I discovered that Bea Arthur died at the age of 86 from cancer. Reports state she died peacefully and surrounded by family. Michael K from Dlisted has written a eulogy for Bea that I couldn’t have written better myself.

I am not familiar with any of her early work. I know her as Dorothy Zbornak on the Golden Girls. Estelle Getty, who played her mother S ophia Petrillo, passed away several months ago. I am a huge Golden Girls fan, for me the show will never get old because it was that good.

Very sad

First of all, putting Tori Spelling on the cover of Star’s April 13th issue was a big mistake. Really, who cares about Tori Spelling? She’s a bad actress with a bad nose job. I bet Star didn’t do too well in sales that week.

However, being the addict that I am, I had to read the story about Tori’s mom’s “tell-all book”, and I must say, that is pretty low down and dirty. I don’t know why I think this, but I think it’s okay for kids to talk about their parents, but it’s not okay for parents to talk about their kids. I have no sympathy. I’m like, “You bore and raised the girl; if she’s a spoiled brat like you claim, it’s your fault!” DUH!

Also, the addict in me could not resist reading “Star Beauty: Getting Gorgeous with Molly”, even though I don’t care for the beauty sections of the tabloids. I’m such a sucker. The photo-article was about spending a day with Molly Sims who was getting primped for a fashion show where she wore a dress made with thousands of real dried cranberries. The dress was auctioned off at clothesoffourback.org. And I won! NOT!!!

What was really stupid about the article is it said that Molly “suffers from dry skin”, and that she uses Dial Antioxidant body wash with cranberries to moisturize in the shower. I’m sorry, but nobody “suffers” from dry skin. One might HAVE dry skin, but one does not suffer from it, unless one has psoriasis or eczema. And this Dial bodywash with cranberries which is probably scented would be the worst product for either of those conditions.

Now, on to the good stuff: US Weekly’s April 10th issue featuring Lindsay Lohan’s interview. Loved it! There’s just something about celebrity trainwrecks; I am so infatuated! I found the article quite hilarious. My impression of Lindsay? She’s a spoiled brat who goes around throwing temper tantrums and then crying because no one likes her. If all these people really turned on her like she says, it’s because of her own behavior. I also thought she sounded like a drama queen and I didn’t quite buy her story, like the parts about people hacking into her Twitter account and stalking her. In a way, I feel sorry for her because of her childhood and dysfunctional parents. But she has got to get it together. Get off the drugs, stop partying, get some mental help, and then try to salvage your career. Don’t worry about girlfriends or boyfriends. And Samantha Ronson? Please, you don’t need her ugly cokehead a**.