This is not the first time we’ve heard this…but is Brangelina splitting up? The National Enquirer seems to think so. 

Despite their non-shiny pages, weird stories and jumbled items I tend to believe most of their celebrity items as the Enquirer has been proven right before.

According to the Enquirer Brad will be shooting movies in Cali and the Amazon while Angelina goes to France with the children.

As far as Angelina being pregnant? Not likely. In Touch featured her drinking alcohol, and reportedly she drank quite a bit and got “sloppy.”

Oh, and this week’s tabbies are ALL about Jon & Kate. I might not buy any. No offense, Jon and Kate.

However, I have a feeling the Brangelina split is going to make tabloid waves soon. And then of course the potential Jennifer Aniston and Billy Bob Thornton reunions…the gossip junkie in me lives for this drama…

I have enjoyed OK! Magazine many times in the past.  Because I have read most or all of this week’s tabbies.

 (I lost track, I think I should have purchased US “Inside Jon’s Prison” for more entertainment I think that is the other one I don’t have this week.)

Anyway, I looked past Ashley Tisdale on the cover and bought the magazine hoping for decent gossip features inside. I’m a mother of two elementary age boys and I have seen plenty of Suite Life with Zack and Cody, I rather enjoy what my kids watch because I am, as Mariah Carey describes herself, eternally 12. Or more like 14.

Moving on. The entire magazine was a pile of glossy caca. Period. Lots of famous people posing. Some text. Oh, and a lot of “how I stay healthy and lose weight” features. If I wanted that, I would buy Prevention Magazine. The end. Save your money if you’re looking for a real gossip rag and go for one of the others.

OK! used to be pretty good. Hopefully they’ll improve.

I just finished reading the June 1st issue of Star Magazine. Star is my favorite tabloid, and I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because I’ve been reading it since I was a kid at my grandmother’s house. That would make over 20 years of reading the magazine. So, Star and I go way back.

Overall, I liked the issue. But as usual, I have a few items to quibble over.

First of all, I was offended by the article: “Malia & Sasha: White House Rascals”. I think that the president’s daughters should be off-limits to the media, especially when they are underage. But I guess the tabloids have no standards. And whoever that employee was that yelped to Star about the children’s brattiness needs a good lashing herself. You just don’t hurt kids like that even if they do pi** you off. Heck, I worked for this couple once who had horribly bratty children, but I never did anything mean-spirited to them. And, from what I read in the article, the girls are just behaving like normal children. What do people expect? Of course they are going to blast their music and speak in code. I did that stuff. Geez!

Next, “Brit’s Not Doing Well” – I really wish people would leave Britney alone, as that gay guy begged the media to do some time ago.

But if they left her alone, then I wouldn’t know how she is doing. Yet, it seems that they only write about her when she is doing poorly. I really hope she does start to do well. I think she should invest her money, move out to Montana, and live off the interest. That’s what I would do if I were her. By now shouldn’t she be sick of the spotlight? Then again maybe she is addicted to it.

I think some stars do get addicted to fame. For instance, Spencer Pratt’s quote on page 96: “Heidi and I do love fame. We’re honored to be famous. We feel blessed to be famous. We pray every day to stay famous.” Well, at least he is honest.

I rather enjoyed “Jon & Kate Nastiest Divorce EVER!” because I absolutely cannot stand Kate Gosselin.

Next: “Best and Worst Beach Bodies” – Why did they pick on Pam Anderson for having a flabby belly while they excused Julia Roberts? Pam’s had three kids too! But I laughed out loud at the new term “moobs” – short for “man boobs.”

Lastly, in this issue, I forced myself to read the “Beauty Secrets” page and I found something neat: Model in a Bottle Makeup Setting Spray. I might actually try that.

Dear Miley Cyrus, and everyone who ever called Miley Cyrus fat,

I wanted to take a moment and ask everyone to look at the following picture of entertainer Beth Ditto from The Gossip. The best one I found is NSFW and all over Photobucket so look at your own risk. Her undulating jelly has entertained my breakfast and it danced from my esophagus to the toilet.

Look at it. (”Look at it! Look at it! I want you all to look at it!”) Sorry, I just imagined Patrick Star on that episode of Spongebob where he thought he was ugly but it was just stanky breath. Oh, and when Spongebob says “I’m ugly…and I’m proud.”

I’m not making fun of Beth because homegirl rocks her flab and from what I’ve read is proud to be who she is and the size she is:

4-year old Exodus Tyson died in the hospital after a serious accident involving exercise equipment. As a mother I cannot imagine the grief of the family. So sad. My heart and prayers go out to the Tyson family.

Source: People

I like Radiohead. Always have. Until now. Their music is OK, but they have proven to be narcissistic douchebags.

Miley Cyrus desperately wanted to meet them, and they refused. The quote attributed to Thom Yorke was “When Miley grows up, she’ll learn not to have a sense of entitlement.”

Excuse me, what does that mean? That Miley felt “entitled” to meet you because you are such an illustrous presence and only entitled persons can meet you?

The girl is a fan, in the music industry and you couldn’t be bothered to say hello for a few minutes. According to MTV Miley was quite upset by the snub. Radiohead should be ashamed. Are they too good to say hello to a fan who also happens to be at the same event as they, in the same general industry? I think not.

As for people calling Miley “fat” on message boards, stop. It apparently hurts her feelings and she is not fat. The people sitting behind a keyboard with nothing better to do than post derogatory comments on forums are probably fat.

Not that there’s anything wrong with being overweight, which Miley is not. (There is a lot wrong with being hateful and rude, but then again I can get as b*tchy as the rest of them.)

Some people seem averse to Miley Cyrus because she is famous, rich, a teenager and attractive. While it’s true she has a fairytale life, a Disney show and does bubblegum pop and country, that’s no reason to attack her. She is a teen girl, teen girls take risque photos of themselves and don’t always say the right things or make the right choices.

I was a 16 year old once and I barely made it through in one piece, I couldn’t imagine living in a fishbowl like Miley. Stay strong, sweetie. You don’t want to meet smelly old Thom Yorke anyway. He looks gross. And his music isn’t all that. Mediocre at best. So don’t shed any tears.

  First and foremost, prayers and healing vibes to Exodus, the daughter of Mike Tyson. The 4-year old suffered critical injury when her neck was caught in exercise equipment. She is on life support Very sad.

OctoMel — Gibson and his Russian babe are expecting. Yawn. This is Gibson’s eigth child. I feel kind of sorry for his wife and other children. I wonder how they are doing? I hope his ex can find love and happiness herself.

Source: People 

Jon and Kate might split up. These Gosselins have intrigued me. I don’t have the patience to watch their show, as I am a busy person and don’t care for reality shows. I have my own marital tensions and bratty child incidents to keep me entertained. However, there is something about these two…he likes to get out and party and she is just…I don’t know…offputting. Aggressive? I’m eager to see their story play out, I hope whatever is best for the kids happens.

Source: US

Kenda Wilkinson of Girls Next Door fame (it’s not fair to be so pretty!) is getting her own show entitled Kendra, which premieres on E! June 7. She is engaged to baller Hank Baskett and has said they want to be young parents. 

 Kendra is also coming out with a stripper pole workout that she says can get you in shape while teaching you how to be “…sexy for your man.”

Maybe it’s just that I’m a decade older than Kendra, or have been married for 11 years and had two children, but if I tried pole dancing for my husband he would probably give me golf claps and say “good job” as not to hurt my feelings or say, “move, you’re blocking the television.” One or the other.

It does sound fun, though.  It is a workout I would do with a girlfriend or in private. Not for my man.

Source: InTouch

According to one of this week’s tabbies Angelina Jolie is going to take over mommy duty now that filming for Salt is done. Excuse me, I think the headline was “Angelina Jolie Plays Mommy!”

No, no. You do not play mommy. You ARE a mommy. Mommy is a 24/7 365 payless and often thankless job.

Oh, wait…unless you’re Morticia Jolie. In that case you can spend some time at a carnival, art shop or airport holding them, then hand them off to the nannies while you go throw knives or fly planes. If you ask me, this is the image she is hoping to project:

But THIS is the REAL Angelina Jolie (with the man I think is her perfect mate:)

And what the heck, while I’m judging celebrities let me post my favorite Brad Pitt photo. (We all know who he should be with. You know, that chick from Friends with the hair.)

And by the way, I adore all four people mentioned in this post, I am not anti-Angelina or anti-Jen but I am definitely pro-Brad…yum…

Brad the cute and mellow political activist:

And I’m posting this one just because…stay in bed Brad, darling I’m on my way…ah, dreams…

And that fast, Sean and Robin Wright Penn are back together. Sean filed a court paper asking for legal separation papers he filed about a month ago to be deleted or something like that.

This has happened SO MANY TIMES on both Sean and Robin’s part.

Maybe they’re just one of those couples…can’t live with or without each other. Best of luck to them as they share two sons.

Maybe now Natalie Portman can find a man HER OWN AGE who shaves, looks clean and has some level of intellectual prowess in addition to an equal or lesser attractiveness to Miss Portman. She doesn’t need some kooky gross folk singer or some aging married man with kids. Not sure who I’d hook her up with yet. None of the reality show or Gossip Girl people.

Maybe Derek Whibley…Avril Lavigne’s husband. I absolutely despise that spoiled b*tchy brat and think her adoring hubby deserves better.

Sources: People and Dlisted

 I thought I’d give you a little something to get the hideous images of Devendra Banhart and Sean Penn off your palate.

Presenting Chris Pine — I believe he is playing Captain Kirk in the new Star Trek film, honestly I couldn’t give a rat’s behind.

He is sooo fine. Actually, I would like to attack him with some eyebrow waxing strips before I jumped on that. I like a devilishy arched Jack Nicholson/Christian Slater brow on a guy most of the time…don’t know why…