I won’t be updating Tabloid Critique any more, but if you wish for celebrity gossip, visit Gigi’s blog at: CelebrityGossipIndulgence.com.

I have decided, after perusing the covers online, that I am not buying tabloids this week and last week I only bought Star, with the Beach Bodies feature, a mediocre issue at best.

When all the hoopla over Michael Jackson fades away, I will start buying tabloids again. I am just not interested (in anything except official cause of death.)

While I enjoyed Jackson’s music in the 1980’s, I stopped being a fan after his bizarre transformation and controversy I am not even going to mention as a protective mother of two young sons. But I do have respect for human life so prayers go out to his children, his family, friends and fans.

I may post if other news comes up that interests me. I feel b*tchy today.

Star of “Pitchmen” and legendary television informercial pitchman Billy Mays is dead at age 50. Mays died in bed and was discovered early in the morning by his wife. An autopsy should be done by next week. According to reports from TMZ no foul play is suspected.

It sounds like he just…died. In bed, at 50. I wonder if he had heart problems or some other medical condition, or if he was on prescription medications. Prayers to the Mays family.

So much sad news. I am ready for happy, fluffy news.

How did Deepak Chopra get into this? I am a big Chopra fan when it comes to his books. Very wise man. And he is an actual physician who was one of Michael Jackson’s doctors. I wish Deepak Chopra was my doctor.

Anyway, Chopra revealed to CNN that he heard it was a Demerol injection that caused the singer to go into cardiac arrest. He heard? From who? The mystery builds…

According to reports, it is going to be a month to six weeks before full toxicology reports are revealed.

Let me save you the suspense with my own speculation: Michael Jackson died of an accidental prescription drug overdose.

Speculation, people. But in four to six weeks we’ll see if I’m right…

Sources: CNN, Dlisted

People says Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are NOT splitting up, contrary to recent reports.

I say, wait and see. I’m not so convinced.

This is not the first time we’ve heard this…but is Brangelina splitting up? The National Enquirer seems to think so. 

Despite their non-shiny pages, weird stories and jumbled items I tend to believe most of their celebrity items as the Enquirer has been proven right before.

According to the Enquirer Brad will be shooting movies in Cali and the Amazon while Angelina goes to France with the children.

As far as Angelina being pregnant? Not likely. In Touch featured her drinking alcohol, and reportedly she drank quite a bit and got “sloppy.”

Oh, and this week’s tabbies are ALL about Jon & Kate. I might not buy any. No offense, Jon and Kate.

However, I have a feeling the Brangelina split is going to make tabloid waves soon. And then of course the potential Jennifer Aniston and Billy Bob Thornton reunions…the gossip junkie in me lives for this drama…

I have enjoyed OK! Magazine many times in the past.  Because I have read most or all of this week’s tabbies.

 (I lost track, I think I should have purchased US “Inside Jon’s Prison” for more entertainment I think that is the other one I don’t have this week.)

Anyway, I looked past Ashley Tisdale on the cover and bought the magazine hoping for decent gossip features inside. I’m a mother of two elementary age boys and I have seen plenty of Suite Life with Zack and Cody, I rather enjoy what my kids watch because I am, as Mariah Carey describes herself, eternally 12. Or more like 14.

Moving on. The entire magazine was a pile of glossy caca. Period. Lots of famous people posing. Some text. Oh, and a lot of “how I stay healthy and lose weight” features. If I wanted that, I would buy Prevention Magazine. The end. Save your money if you’re looking for a real gossip rag and go for one of the others.

OK! used to be pretty good. Hopefully they’ll improve.

I just finished reading the June 1st issue of Star Magazine. Star is my favorite tabloid, and I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because I’ve been reading it since I was a kid at my grandmother’s house. That would make over 20 years of reading the magazine. So, Star and I go way back.

Overall, I liked the issue. But as usual, I have a few items to quibble over.

First of all, I was offended by the article: “Malia & Sasha: White House Rascals”. I think that the president’s daughters should be off-limits to the media, especially when they are underage. But I guess the tabloids have no standards. And whoever that employee was that yelped to Star about the children’s brattiness needs a good lashing herself. You just don’t hurt kids like that even if they do pi** you off. Heck, I worked for this couple once who had horribly bratty children, but I never did anything mean-spirited to them. And, from what I read in the article, the girls are just behaving like normal children. What do people expect? Of course they are going to blast their music and speak in code. I did that stuff. Geez!

Next, “Brit’s Not Doing Well” – I really wish people would leave Britney alone, as that gay guy begged the media to do some time ago.

But if they left her alone, then I wouldn’t know how she is doing. Yet, it seems that they only write about her when she is doing poorly. I really hope she does start to do well. I think she should invest her money, move out to Montana, and live off the interest. That’s what I would do if I were her. By now shouldn’t she be sick of the spotlight? Then again maybe she is addicted to it.

I think some stars do get addicted to fame. For instance, Spencer Pratt’s quote on page 96: “Heidi and I do love fame. We’re honored to be famous. We feel blessed to be famous. We pray every day to stay famous.” Well, at least he is honest.

I rather enjoyed “Jon & Kate Nastiest Divorce EVER!” because I absolutely cannot stand Kate Gosselin.

Next: “Best and Worst Beach Bodies” – Why did they pick on Pam Anderson for having a flabby belly while they excused Julia Roberts? Pam’s had three kids too! But I laughed out loud at the new term “moobs” – short for “man boobs.”

Lastly, in this issue, I forced myself to read the “Beauty Secrets” page and I found something neat: Model in a Bottle Makeup Setting Spray. I might actually try that.

My local magazine guy doesn’t get to the store until Friday So I have to wait until tomorrow to read these. But here are the covers and my commentary. Discuss:

OK! — Yawn. Who cares? Some people might, but I don’t. Didn’t even look at the rest of the cover, American Idol has bored me too much. Moving on.

Star — Twilight crap…meh. Miley Cyrus has a secret brother…not surprised or interested. Lindsay Lohan hits rock bottom…somewhat more intriguing. Then there’s Her Royal Smugness on the cover, with the giant text Pregnant Again! Last I heard Angelina Jolie wanted to adopt with or without my dream husband Brad Pitt. Now she’s pregnant? When will the madness end? Why does she need so many children? Why? I used to like her and now I just want to smack her in her b*tchface. I am buying this one, btw.

In Touch — How the Obamas keep their love alive. I don’t care. It doesn’t relate to me because all my love problems could be solved if my significant other and I didn’t fight so much about money and lived in a big spacious home where we were secure in every way. Yeah, if we lived like President Obama and First Lady Obama (Is that the correct term? First Lady Obama? Is Michelle too informal?) we could keep our love alive, too. Oh, Britney’s new “boyfriend” yeah right. And Brad and Angie separated for a month. Good for him, he got some time off the choke chain.

Life & Style — Twilight Heartbreak! Yawn. Isn’t Kristen Stewart dating the kid that played Jack’s son on Will and Grace? Michael Angarano…I had to Google the name. He’s a cutie! RPatz, please wash your hair, take a shower, you might even want to shave a little bit more often. Then I might care. Robert Pattinson is hot but he looks stinky. Obama’s first dog…already saw it on the news. A Portugese Water Spaniel named Bo or Beau. I don’t know what the fugly apparel in the bottom right is and I don’t care.

Us – Sorry for the blurred image. I think I see Octo-Insane on the sidebar. Barf. Despise her. Mel Gibson is cheating with some hot young chick. I’m shocked. I hope his wife gets tons of money and finds a hot guy to hook up with. She deserves happiness after what I imagine was a pretty shi*ty marriage. All those kids to raise…Oh…and Lindsay’s wild nights…wonder who she’ll “date” next? By “date” I mean party with and form an unhealthy co-dependent relationship with. She fascinates me. Her and Brit. I may buy this one..