I quite enjoyed the May 4th edition of In Touch Weekly, headlining “Brad Moves Out”.

Though, I’m not quite sure I believe that story. Another magazine released a story that week claiming that Angelina Jolie is pregnant. If she’s pregnant, then Brangelina probably isn’t splitting up. However, it’s possible. Anything is possible with those two.

What really intrigued me this time was the smaller story inside about Gavin Rossdale and a British drag-queen rock star named “Marilyn”. Marilyn told In Touch that he and Rossdale were in a gay relationship lasting five years and that “he was the love of my life.” I must say, I would not have believed this had it not been for the photos of the two of them together, looking very “close”.

As I was reading the article, I marvelled over how much Gavin’s wife Gwen Stefani resembles this Marilyn character. I always did think Gwen looked like a drag queen, I thought. Then I turned the page and found that In Touch thinks the same! There was an insert titled “They have the same look!” which showed pictures of the two in similar outfits and poses. I guess now Gavin can satisfy his drag queen fantasies while playing it straight.

And of course, my favorite story in this issue was the Octomom story: “Octomom’s Lies Exposed”. This article focused mainly on Octomom’s stripper days, which were, apparently, DAYS with an “S” and not DAY. Three sources gave accounts of Nadya stripping over a period of time (though they didn’t say how long), and these sources provided their names and photos to the magazine, except for one, “Sage”, preferred not to give her real name, but she did offer a photo of herself. In the article was a picture of a contract that Nadya Suleman signed for private party dances. So we can conclude that Suleman lied about dancing “only for a day”, as well as other things. Oh, and her stripper name was Angelina. Guess she lied about not trying to look like Angelina too. Go figure.

The tabloids just can’t seem get it together, and I don’t know what to believe.

According to the Life & Style website, Nadya Suleman will be having a reality show about her and all her children. Scroll down a bit and you’ll see the article. This entry was dated April 15th, yesterday.

Yet, in an earlier issue, dated April 8th, Nadya said she wasn’t doing a reality show.

Also, on April 7th, In Touch reported that she WAS doing a reality show.

Then Perez Hilton reports that’s she’s not doing a reality show.

Various other blogs (too many to mention) are circulating the news around that the Octuplet Mom is going to do a reality show, including my blog. That’s the latest I’d heard until tonight. I’ll wait until tomorrow and see what the news is.

This is crazy. Either she is lying or the tabloids are lying. Either one is feasible.

I was quite disappointed with the March 30th issue of US Weekly. Leann Rimes is on the cover. “Leann Rimes Caught in an Affair” reads the headline. So? Who cares if Leann Rimes had an affair? Who cares what she does? Has she even put out an album lately? I don’t know, I don’t listen to country. I haven’t even read the article yet and I’m not too eager. It’s not that I don’t like Rimes, but I really don’t give a rat’s butt about her. I’m more interested in “Octo Mom’s New Home”. (In case you didn’t know, I’m an Octomom freak. I follow her never-ending soap opera and post about it on Angelina Jolie Lookalikes.

Anyway, why can’t these magazines come up with more exciting people to grace their covers, such as Brangelina and Jen? Everyone wants to read about all the wierdness that goes on with them, especially the feuds! Remember last month when all the tabloids were reporting on the “big feud” between Jen and Angelina at the awards ceremony? Well, I read the complete stories in at least two of those ‘zines (not sure which ones because I threw them out), and there was no feud. They avoided each other the entire evening. The reports were that it was awkward for Jen who was on stage announcing the nominees while Brad and Angelina were sitting in a front row seat. One magazine said that at one point Jen sort of spaced out and forgot what she was saying. A couple tabloids reported that she smiled at Brad. How do they know she was smiling at him? Maybe she was smiling at someone else, maybe even *gasp* Angelina!

I know what would make a perfect story: Angelina and Jen having an affair and making Brad jealous. I could just make this up, like everyone else does. I could tell tales of secret steamy rendevous in posh hotels, drinking too much wine in clubs and hanging all over each other. Then they could even start hanging out with Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson. But Angelina would not dump Brad for Jen, no. “She wants to have her cake and eat it too,” said the source, who would be me. I wonder who the “sources” really are. Maybe the sources are a dog, or a Hello Kitty doll. I think I’m going to make my source my son’s fish “Fred”. That way if the word ever gets out that Fred’s the source, he doesn’t have to worry about getting sued for slander. I don’t think you can sue a fish.

Here is a photo of Jen admiring Angelina while Angelina looks lovingly into her eyes. This was taken just last week. (It’s not photoshopped either; I’m too cheap for that, so I used Paint).

Here is a photo of Jen seducing Angelina with a cherry.

“We’ve all known for quite some time that Angelina is bi, but I’m surprised to find out Jen swings that way as well. I don’t know if it’s a phase or if she’s been hiding in the closet all these years. Come to think of it, she does have a lot of female friends… hmmm….” the source pondered.

I can see the headlines now:
“Brad furious… Angelina having an affair… with HIS EX-WIFE!”

“Angie and Jen – are they gay? What Brad has to say about it.”

I tell you what, whoever can get that story will make millions! So, Star, OK, In Touch, whoever, CALL ME! I’m the source! I’ll give you the story everyone’s been DYING to hear!