Dear Miley Cyrus, and everyone who ever called Miley Cyrus fat,

I wanted to take a moment and ask everyone to look at the following picture of entertainer Beth Ditto from The Gossip. The best one I found is NSFW and all over Photobucket so look at your own risk. Her undulating jelly has entertained my breakfast and it danced from my esophagus to the toilet.

Look at it. (”Look at it! Look at it! I want you all to look at it!”) Sorry, I just imagined Patrick Star on that episode of Spongebob where he thought he was ugly but it was just stanky breath. Oh, and when Spongebob says “I’m ugly…and I’m proud.”

I’m not making fun of Beth because homegirl rocks her flab and from what I’ve read is proud to be who she is and the size she is:

I like Radiohead. Always have. Until now. Their music is OK, but they have proven to be narcissistic douchebags.

Miley Cyrus desperately wanted to meet them, and they refused. The quote attributed to Thom Yorke was “When Miley grows up, she’ll learn not to have a sense of entitlement.”

Excuse me, what does that mean? That Miley felt “entitled” to meet you because you are such an illustrous presence and only entitled persons can meet you?

The girl is a fan, in the music industry and you couldn’t be bothered to say hello for a few minutes. According to MTV Miley was quite upset by the snub. Radiohead should be ashamed. Are they too good to say hello to a fan who also happens to be at the same event as they, in the same general industry? I think not.

As for people calling Miley “fat” on message boards, stop. It apparently hurts her feelings and she is not fat. The people sitting behind a keyboard with nothing better to do than post derogatory comments on forums are probably fat.

Not that there’s anything wrong with being overweight, which Miley is not. (There is a lot wrong with being hateful and rude, but then again I can get as b*tchy as the rest of them.)

Some people seem averse to Miley Cyrus because she is famous, rich, a teenager and attractive. While it’s true she has a fairytale life, a Disney show and does bubblegum pop and country, that’s no reason to attack her. She is a teen girl, teen girls take risque photos of themselves and don’t always say the right things or make the right choices.

I was a 16 year old once and I barely made it through in one piece, I couldn’t imagine living in a fishbowl like Miley. Stay strong, sweetie. You don’t want to meet smelly old Thom Yorke anyway. He looks gross. And his music isn’t all that. Mediocre at best. So don’t shed any tears.