I just finished reading the June 1st issue of Star Magazine. Star is my favorite tabloid, and I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because I’ve been reading it since I was a kid at my grandmother’s house. That would make over 20 years of reading the magazine. So, Star and I go way back.

Overall, I liked the issue. But as usual, I have a few items to quibble over.

First of all, I was offended by the article: “Malia & Sasha: White House Rascals”. I think that the president’s daughters should be off-limits to the media, especially when they are underage. But I guess the tabloids have no standards. And whoever that employee was that yelped to Star about the children’s brattiness needs a good lashing herself. You just don’t hurt kids like that even if they do pi** you off. Heck, I worked for this couple once who had horribly bratty children, but I never did anything mean-spirited to them. And, from what I read in the article, the girls are just behaving like normal children. What do people expect? Of course they are going to blast their music and speak in code. I did that stuff. Geez!

Next, “Brit’s Not Doing Well” – I really wish people would leave Britney alone, as that gay guy begged the media to do some time ago.

But if they left her alone, then I wouldn’t know how she is doing. Yet, it seems that they only write about her when she is doing poorly. I really hope she does start to do well. I think she should invest her money, move out to Montana, and live off the interest. That’s what I would do if I were her. By now shouldn’t she be sick of the spotlight? Then again maybe she is addicted to it.

I think some stars do get addicted to fame. For instance, Spencer Pratt’s quote on page 96: “Heidi and I do love fame. We’re honored to be famous. We feel blessed to be famous. We pray every day to stay famous.” Well, at least he is honest.

I rather enjoyed “Jon & Kate Nastiest Divorce EVER!” because I absolutely cannot stand Kate Gosselin.

Next: “Best and Worst Beach Bodies” – Why did they pick on Pam Anderson for having a flabby belly while they excused Julia Roberts? Pam’s had three kids too! But I laughed out loud at the new term “moobs” – short for “man boobs.”

Lastly, in this issue, I forced myself to read the “Beauty Secrets” page and I found something neat: Model in a Bottle Makeup Setting Spray. I might actually try that.

I admit it, I’m a tabloid addict. I read several tabloids per week, but mostly in my spare time. Needless to say, I have a lot of spare time on my hands.

Like when I’m at the doctor’s office. They never have good magazines in the waiting room. Like Ladies Home Journal, who wants to read that? Or men’s magazines, about cars, or *gasp* hunting. So today I decided to take the magazines into my own hands and brought a tabloid with me. I forgot which one it was. Anyway, it made for a much more interesting wait.

Today I read about Angelina’s supposed pregancy. I’ll believe it when I actually see the baby bump. Even then I might not be sure, because it might be photoshopped.

But I’m tired of Brangelina – yet I read each article about them with utter obsession, mulling over each detail. Why? Why oh why do I continue to torment myself like this? Brangelina has grown into this great big monster – it’s like a huge wart on my butt, and I can’t get it off!

What I want is more Britney – even though everyone else is sick of her. I can’t get enough. I love the trainwrecks. Today I was reading about the “hooking up” between Britney and Kevin on her Circus tour, and how she wants Kevin to break up with his girlfriend. (I forgot her name, but I guess it isn’t important.)

Another thing I’m getting sick of is this breakup between Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson. Didn’t this happen over a month ago? Guys, you need some new material!

But like I said, I do like the trainwrecks, like Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears. I don’t like the trainwrecks turned do-gooders like Angelina. Angelina was much cooler when she was openly wierd. When she was with Billy Bob (even though he’s old and gross) and did blood sports. Now she’s still wierd, but she’s trying to act normal, whatever that is for a celebrity, and being a snob. I really don’t like her anymore. She always has this snooty expression in her photographs. And I’m really getting sick of her obsession with kids. I wonder if she is collecting them like dolls.

I’m done with Angelina. Keep feeding me the trainwrecks, because I love the chaos! What can I say, I’m an addict!

Is it just me, or are tabloids becoming boring? Maybe it’s because I’ve been reading them compulsively for the past two years. (Ever since Anna Nicole’s death, I’ve been obsessed with celebrity gossip.)

But really. I’m sick of photos of what the stars are wearing and who wore it better. (I think I already ranted about that in my “Who Rocked the Frock” post.) How do you rock a frock anyway? I have this picture in my head about throwing a rock at a dress.

Anyway…

The other parts I don’t like are the “Hot Picks of the Week” sections: products that the magazine staffers think are hot. Whatever. I would not use those products, even if I had the money.

I also get sick of the other “fillers” such as the makeup and hair pages. Rarely do these sections give me tips that I actually consider. I have my makeup and hair routine down to a T; I do it almost the same way all the time, and I like it that way. I do not change colors or hairstyles with the seasons. I don’t like the clothing and handbag sections either. Even if I could afford new clothes and handbags, I wouldn’t be taking fashion tips from tabloids. The ad section in the back, I understand that. They need paid advertisers, and it’s only 2 pages. I just skip it.

But the articles are boring too. How many magazines wrote an article about Leann Rimes cheating? Who cares? I think I ranted about that in another post as well.

And what’s with all this Twilight stuff? I have never watched the show and probably never will. I’m getting tired of seeing the Twilight actors throughout the magazines. I just skip those pages.

And Fergie. Seriously, I had never heard of her until I started reading tabloids. Then I heard one of her songs and thought it sucked.

I wonder, how do they determine which stories are newsworthy? For instance, why would they print a Twilight story over a story about another show? Why do they choose to print articles about Fergie instead of another musician? What is it about Fergie that makes her so popular with the media? Gigi, maybe you can help me out here.

People that will never tire of are Brangelina, Jen, Britney Spears, and Lindsay Lohan. You’d think I would but I’m addicted to these people. I have a celebrity addiction! Dr. Drew, HELP!